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What Elton John Teaches us about our kids' needs

I recently saw the movie "Rocketman," which is about the musician, Elton John's life, and I couldn't wait to write you. I'm currently in Malaysia and I think the movie came out a bit early here, but it is such a powerful indication of the importance of knowing, understanding and using connection languages. (However, if you do see the movie, do not take your child, as it is not kid-friendly.)

Okay, so there I was in the theater, Caramel Popcorn in hand (It's my favorite!) and I knew Elton John's connection language immediately. I'm talking less than 30 seconds into the opening scene. But, it wasn't only me, one of my close friends who's been a big part of my journey creating the first connection languages-based activities, knew as well.

As soon as Elton John walked onto the set, we looked at each other and identified where the movie would go, what struggles Elton would have as a child, how he would demonstrate these struggles, and how he would almost beg for others to connect to him based on his actions.  We were dead on. 

I've been asked throughout my teaching career how I connect to children in such a powerful way and what compels them to shift so much after working with me. "Why are they suddenly so motivated?"

Because I can speak their language and I teach them the power of their language, as well.

Okay...so back to the movie...

The movie (read Elton's real-life) played out exactly as we'd predicted. Exactly. However, unfortunately for Elton, he was not surrounded by people like you who would learn that his actions were not indications of his "being bad," "showing off," or "taking advantage of others." No. He played a role his entire life because he thought that this role would allow him to finally...FEEL SEEN.

Elton's Connection Language is Feeling Seen.  What do you believe was happening behind the costume?

Okay, let's go deeper...What do you believe your child is really saying when they say, "Mom/Dad watch this! Look at me!! Hey, did you see that?" And you wonder why they fought for your attention so much just to hop over a crack in the sidewalk, jump barely an inch off the ground, or blow a barely-there bubble.


Elton John thought, "If I just bring more attention to myself. If I just do something great to garner attention. If I just scream louder, sing louder, BE...LOUDER then maybe I will receive the love I am yearning for."

He wore the biggest glasses. He sang the loudest. He loved the hardest.

The beauty of the connection languages is that it not only helps your family to each understand their Connection Languages, but it will also help your child to understand what they need AND when they are playing a role that isn't who they truly are. 


If you haven't yet purchased the connection languages course for your child, you can grab it here: Connection Languages Course for kids It is a beautiful step toward having kids who feel confident, valued, and motivated to try new things. 

If you already have the course, I would love for you to reply to this email and tell me how it's going! Also, please send your photos my way! I have loved seeing pictures of gratitude letters and "no excuses" bracelets that your children have been wearing.  This makes it all worth it and there is more to come!

With so much love,


Creator, kidyouniversity


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